Saturday, 04 September 2010

• Currently One Cell in the Sea By A Fine Frenzy Almost Lover see related

  Learning to Fly ♥

  Maybe I missed the "Navigating the Adult World" seminar in college or something, but growing older is really annoying and confusing and challenging. Taxes. Insurance. Interest rates. Credit history. 401K. What I wouldn't give for a world where I could just do what I love and have comfort, food, and a roof over my head and not have to worry about anything else. Everyone else seems to have this much more figured out than me. Like, who explained to you all how to build credit without credit history? Psst: They don't let you get cars and credit cards without previously having paid for a car or credit card bill... And when your parents' insurance kicks you off, no one else wants you when you have a chronic disease... Also, when social work and education professors go into their bitter rants about how little these jobs pay, they're actually not implying that you won't be driving an escalade anytime soon. What they mean is, you will have to work two jobs until you're 40 just to get by. I've never been a materialistic or money-hungry person, so I never took the complaints seriously. "As long as I have enough to eat and a roof over my head, I'm happy..." was my attitude. I wish they'd responded with "PSH! You will hardly even have THAT!" So here I am, forced to accept a second job I don't want, outside of my own field, because they pay enough to save for cars and houses and grad school and pay for student loans. And turning down a second job of my dreams because it doesn't even support my caffeine habit. Don't misunderstand, I'm perfectly happy and blessed to have a job offer in the first place in this economy, so this is not meant to be a complaint. The point is, no matter how careless any of us sweet little bleeding hearts are about money, we still have little choice over the matter. Sophomore year, I laughed when I accepted the Facebook Group Invitation to "I picked the major I like and one day I will be living in a box." The sad thing is, to do strictly this job, you would REALLY have to live in a box! And let me just get political for a hot second and say: HOW is it that Kwame Crapface and the Corporate Cats get to ruin things for a living and live snug as a bug... Yet the incredible women I work with LOVE for a living and have to sell their house to pay for chemo treatments when they get cancer? How ass-backwards can we get, America? This country is OBSESSED with money and it makes me very nauseous at times. The older I get, the more I learn about it and how powerless I am against it. And the more I wish I had been taught more realistic things in college. Being an adult means giving up and settling because you can't escape it? You mean to tell me, I wasted moments of my youth that I can never get back anxiously dreaming for and waiting for THIS??? I wish I could grab my younger self by the face and tell her to just appreciate being a kid, because adutlhood is hardly anything it looks like.

  How do you do this?

  How do you pay for a house you hardly live in because you're too busy working 80 hours a week to pay for the house you hardly live in?

  How do you balance car payments, student loans, groceries, car insurance, health insurance, taxes, prescriptions, cell phone bills, credit card bills, internet/cable, utility bills, rent, gas, and water?
  How do you build credit without prexisting credit?

  How do you deal with and medicate chronic diseases without insurance?

  How do you find insurance with prexisiting conditions?

  How is it that everyone else seems to have tons of money to play at concerts and vacations and weddings? Do I have friends with secret trust funds?

  How does ANYONE afford to get their Master's Degree?

  For that matter, how does ANYONE in this stage support babies and families!?

  How do people in their 20s ever manage to make friends or meet "that" someone when they barely have time to shower?

  How do people work and sleep and work and sleep and NOT get sick to death of it?

  How come mean people get rewarded and awesome people become homeless?

  How do you ever get on your feet?

  How do you save for a rainy day when you can't make it through the end of the month?

  How do you run away from pessimism and bitterness about the way the world works?

  How do you learn to jump and duck when you're trying to run and fly?

   

  ♥ So I've started out, for God knows where. I guess I'll know when I get there. I'm learning to fly around the clouds. What goes up must come down. I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings. Coming down is the hardest thing.

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